Archive for March, 2003
Monday, March 31st, 2003
What does one do when he is lost; in a foreign place where it is dark and solemn? He stepped into this room where a beautiful chandelier illuminated the whole room from one wall to the other without an inch of darkness. When he first peered into this room, he was amazed by the light. When he first took a step through the doorway of this room, he was welcomed with warmth. With all the faith and confidence upon himself, he takes a couple more steps; then the lights slowly dim and darkness settles. He inched his way back to where he entered from, but only to find that the door that was once there had disappeared or sealed itself shut. He kept his eyes into the darkness but started to pat the wall behind his back in search of a handle he can pull to get himself out of there; nevertheless, he felt nothing but the coldness of a concrete wall – surprisingly different than the dark and polished hard wood wall he had seen when he entered the room.
He also noticed that the room was chilly and the air was completely still. He finally remembered the other door he was going for from the beginning. Thinking that was the way he was supposed to step onto the next level, he left the trust that he had formed with the wall supporting his weight. He remembered the tables and the chairs that were in this once-bright room so he tried to guide himself with his hands so that he didn’t run into these obstacles. After thinking he had finally got to the half-way point between the wall he had just left and the door he wanted to find, he realized that he is feeling around for obstacles that does not exist but only in his mind.
He tapped the floor with his feet and the feeling of the soft carpet had disappeared and he only heard the light tack-tack-tack’s of his shoes hitting a scratchy hard surface. At this exact point, he was stricken with fear as he did not hear the assuring echoes of the tapping sound bouncing off the close walls of what he once thought was a room. With every bit of courage his mind would allow, he started running in the same direction as he had been walking; not scared of what he might run into but scared of not finding anything at all.
Running as fast as he could, not realizing that his lungs are running out of its own stamina – tears started to form in his eyes. He fought them back and kept on running. Without having anything to think about, he starts praying; the one thing he can always depend on. With his legs getting tired, he wonders what he will do now.
After some time, he stopped. Feeling dazed and numb, he sits down. What does one do when he is lost?
What would you do if you were him? Click the comment link and go for it.
Posted in Time Out! | 1 Comment »
Thursday, March 27th, 2003
This will be another one of my rants about the exclusive education system provided by this well-established institution of Georgia Tech. I am at another point of apathy and I need to get my thoughts out as soon as possible before reaching a new level of insanity here.
Quite frankly typing here, I don’t know what I am doing here anymore. The classes I am taking now – as my fourth semester will soon come to an end – still doesn’t relate in any way to what I have thought when I fill in the oval marking what major I wanted to be when applying to this school. That leaves me approximately another 4 semesters (or more) to delve deeply into the real reason I came here. The first two years have been like repeating the last 2 years of high school for me; except this time, I am not protected by the extra points padded in by the IB system when calculating GPAs and receiving Bs and Cs didn’t bother me much since I didn’t think it would affect me negatively. In all honesty, it has affected me negatively… but not how I imagined it would…
Putting grades aside, the heightened attention of the humanities in the IB program has really skewed the way I do things. I have learned in high school that procrastination can pay off if you quickly step on the right stones while crossing the river to Gradu-land. Four- four years, have I been able to step on the right stones- now look where it landed me… in a land facing an even larger river that you have to cross; except this time… the stones aren’t visible… and the only way you can get across is by trying to see through the flow of the river and taking a leap of faith – hoping for the best. If you fall into the river, you have to pull yourself out and find another stone to step on while you dry yourself off and encourage yourself to work to find the next stone. It’s rather scary here; sometimes, you’ll fall so many times, you are exhausted and don’t know what to do anymore. This is where I seem to be.
In another subject matter – I know so many people here who came in knowing exactly what they want to do but get discouraged. I’ve been there if I am not already there right now. No matter how much effort I put into it, no matter how much I study, no matter how much time I put into it, no matter how much resources I have to use – I can’t seem to do any better then how I have been doing. So where do I turn now? Why should I spend the effort? What would I be spending the effort here to do? What is really involved in the studies I am doing right now?
I have one great friend who was forced to decide to leave this school. And now, another great friend will be leaving this school for similar reasons. The circumstances are a bit different but in the end, they are similar. Now, imagine this – the two friends that I am referring to are both great people. Their high school academics and activities can’t be questioned because they were accepted here; their intelligence can’t be questioned because they are both smart and this shows; their effort can’t be questioned because I’ve seen their extreme effort, except there didn’t seem to be any good prize for their efforts. I’m seeing the same kind of pattern in some of my other friends and I’m afraid that I can see this pattern in me. Now, imagine this – these guys never really did anything out of the ordinary as other college students accept they put in more time (mostly throughout the weekdays) working on stuff for classes or studying for tests. Excuse my lack of attention to this matter but what have they done wrong – I can’t seem to answer this question. You both can blame yourselves all you want for whatever mistakes you think you made – but these aren’t mistakes and you will realize this down the road. No matter how much I value our friendship; build your own road and drive down it at a speed appropriate for you and don’t let anything behind you haunt you, discourage you, or skew the direction at which you want to go; don’t let other things slow you down or force you to go faster.
Posted in School | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, March 25th, 2003
I got about 10 minutes before I have to go to class… I’m sitting in front of a iMac Lamp-looking thing and typing this up while talking to an old friend.
I just have to say that today… is one of the most beautiful days I’ve ever seen in a while; it’s sunny, it’s warm- Spring has finally arrived! Woohooooo! 
Anyways, got a T-shirt from work and also two checks for the first two weeks I started working my new job. It’s been a bit hectic due to some problems that I can’t really help with but I’ve been learning a lot of stuff which will be useful 
I got some pictures of my co-workers at the actual place of work, they are a friendly bunch!
Also, I’ve decided… and it’s about friggin time I decided on it too. It’s just the question of when now… hrmmmm….
have a great day!
Posted in Random | No Comments »
Tuesday, March 25th, 2003
I was gonna blog but I got tied up with an issue I had to take care of before any more people got more fickle… so I’ll blog tomorrow with some better blogginess tomorrow… or just later today.
have a good night
Posted in My Life | No Comments »
Friday, March 21st, 2003
I write this entry today amidst the War that was started just a bit over 24 hours ago. I personally do not have any opinion about this War; it was started and hopefully end sooner than we all expect it to last.
A prayer to those men and women who will be involved in the various campaigns in the Middle East and my eternal blessings to those who have sacrificed or will sacrifice their lives for the sake of freedom, safety, and future.
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Wednesday, March 19th, 2003
I realize now that I have been taking a lot of things, time, situations, people, feelings, thoughts, and chances for granted. It’s about time that I grow up and do something to change it around. If you don’t see me doing this then remind me to do so immediately.
Thanks
Posted in Time Out! | No Comments »
