I got nothing.
September 11th, 2004 | by john |School has kept my past two weekdays pretty busy. The worst part is, I’m dreading this weekend because I will have double the amount of work I’ve had to do within the past two weeks combined. This is what people like to call… “Hell Week”. ‘Tis the week that all our professors decide to test us on… all of our professors. Like I mentioned prior to previous hell weeks, it seems like the faculty gets together and plans this against the student body as a lesson in life.
Second, this past Wednesday, there was a suicide in one of the Freshmen dorms on East Campus. A girl shot herself with a shotgun. From what I read/heard, it’s wasn’t related to academics (it just can’t be… it’s only the fourth week of school and she was a Freshmen). Don’t know the full details of what happened, Technique wrote up a 4 sentence thing about it, that’s how I found out. How sad is that? I wish someone was there to talk to her about it – now we will never know what was wrong. Take this as a lesson, don’t isolate people… especially your fellow students. Get them involved, try to find out what they like, and get to know them. I hate it when these kinds of thing happens… because it’s preventable with a little bit of extra care. If no one is willing to take one extra step, what’s the point?
Today is September 11th… merely three years after the terrorist attacks that has changed current events and our children’s history books. A catalyst that triggered a change from the stagnant post-Cold War politics to the new War on Terror. I remember that afternoon… they made us gather in the basement of Towers for a short announcement by the housing staff. Then, the campus was closed while the afternoon classes were cancelled. That was a silent day… we prayed so hard.
And, last week… the hostage situation in Russia. How can you put innocent children in line of politics? They were seeking a purpose in a way that I will never understand… not because I just don’t want to, but because it’s inhumane.
I got nothing to smile about except for my family, friends, and whatever free time I can manage. Those things always put a big smile on my face. My mood is merely neutral… not happy nor sad, right in between.
I see all these things happening around the world and they get me questioning things like what I have grown to believe is true through experiences of my own and of others… Yet things happen and my mind is split into two different sides and I can’t make up my mind about what I believe, who I am, what I need to do. The worst part is, there is a third part of me that is watching the two sides and being condescending toward both because of the lack of unity! How do I fix this? No one can answer this except myself… I feel like I’m stumbling after every other step I take… every other step being completely indecisive. Walking without a purpose, without ambition. Where did I lose my motivation for ambition and all my ideas? I need to choose a path of my own and keep on it until I reach my destination. I need to write down my destination and start working towards it.
Sorry for such melancholic subjects… my mind has been busy lately and I needed to have these thoughts expressed somewhere so I may reflect back on them when the time comes.
