Afterthought, deferred years and years.
November 22nd, 2005 | by john |Why was it that I couldn’t tell you how beautiful you are? How fun it was with you? How your smile was the true reason for my frigid nature that prevented me from getting closer? Thinking back, there were so many things… I’ll call them mistakes for now. Now, it is merely a diminished afterthought and yet I was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep tonight where I relived memories of the past that lasted for a relative while after the fact. I draw up a long and thick line between two boundaries and whenever I get close to this boundary, I shut the door so neither I nor you can cross the line. I felt like it was the right thing to do but in reality it was simply because I feared the next step into the other boundary thinking it would destroy what we had. Ironically, my unforthcoming reaction to the next step was my achilles’ heel that deteriorated everything instead.
Merely an afterthought … from years and years ago. It shocks me to think how young I was back then… how young we all were.
