Dr. Cox: Mr. Warner, do you see what you made me do?  By once again choosing to spend all of your free time out on the surface of the Sun until melanoma has developed, you’ve forced me to pull the attending dermatologist away from his bacne seminar and validate his most ridiculous of career choices.

Dermatologist: Ehhhh!

Dr. Cox: Oh god.

Mr. Warner: I just want to look good.

Dr. Cox: You, my friend, look so damn leathery I’m honestly tempted to wrap you around a baseball, synch you up with a belt, and stick you under my mattress so that you’re good n’ broken in for the big game on Sunday.  But, since I’m here to heal not judge, I’m gonna go ahead and write you a couple of prescriptions.  You’ll find that this first one is for an extra large mallet to help ya pound some sense into yourself.  The second one is for a big floppy hat that you’re now to wear every single time you leave the house.  Have a great day, ya look like a purse!